The world is definitely short on a few items. I know for a fact, one of those things is love. According to the Four Wise Men, George, John, Paul and Ringo, it is all you need. But it is so easy to look at the news, movies, magazines, billboards, and so on, and realize that there is a huge, gaping hole where love should be. We pump the airwaves full of visions of rape, murder, bigotry, and violence. Yet acts of love, such as sex, are treated as pornographic. We are conditioned to keep to ourselves, keep a watchful eye out for people who do not look like they belong. We are taught that who we are is not good enough, that we are lacking, either as a person, or, most often, physically. To over turn such a massive social construct, or trend, seems like it would take tremendous effort. Yet I believe, in the words of the late comedian Bill Hicks, "It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love."
I do not remember why I decided such a thing should wind up on my Bucket List, but I am glad it did. I talked my co-worker, Kimberly, into joining me for a night of passing out free hugs. On Jan 7th, 2010, Kimberly and I put my plan into action. Kimberly had made a sign that read, "Hugz 4 Free", and we walked up and down Mill Avenue in Tempe, AZ, passing out free hugs to strangers. I was concerned that no one would hug us and we would get weird stares, funny looks, and insults. She and I had only expected a maximum of ten people to take us up on our offer. We were wrong, by a long shot.
With total sobriety in our heads and the sign in my hands, it was time to go for it. Kimberly and I hugged about 30 people our first time around. We hugged men, women, and every homeless person on the street. Every homeless person seemed genuinely thankful. I assume it because they are almost always ignored, or looked down upon. For them to receive an open, honest, heartfelt hug from a total stranger is probably the exact opposite of how they are constantly treated. One particular fellow even stated that he had not been hugged in two years. Judging by his smell, I would say that was not a lie. We hugged a self-proclaimed "traveller", an individual who just wanders from city to city for the adventure of it all. Sadly, he had been in Tempe a few days and said that we were the nicest people he had met so far. We hugged a group of four pre-teen girls, all of which I gave a shoulder to shoulder hug, not chest to chest because that would just be uncomfortable. We even hugged two old women who just finished dinner and were waiting to cross the street.
Mill Avenue, for those familiar with it, might seem like an unusual spot to pick. Kimberly and I chose to do this here because she had an Eating Disorders Anonymous meeting to attend in the area (I did get permission from her to share this, otherwise the anonymous part would have been ruined). Just before heading off to her meeting, we ran into a young man that we had previously hugged, and wanted another. We sat and talked about his problems for a few minutes, he and Kimberly exchanged numbers, and I told him we had to leave for her meeting. After the two of them discussed her meeting and his Narcotics Anonymous meetings, Kimberly and I made our way to were she needed to be. Shortly after arrival, this kid began texting her to see if he could join us, which he wound up doing.
At this point, the EDA meeting began. I really wish I could share what was said in this meeting. It was very interesting to witness such honesty and openness. There was zero judgement, total support, and absolute attention paid to whomever was speaking. Outside of myself, and the tag-a-long kid, this group was all women, except for one guy. He only introduced himself, and did not speak again until after the meeting. I made it a point to talk to this man after the meeting. Again, I wish I could share what was said. I was glad to have spoken with him, as men have one unique tendency, we will not talk about what is going on in our hearts and minds in a group of people, unless another man speaks first. This is why men have conversations about sports, movies, tv and so on. Sharing, on the level of this meeting, is not what we do. Even if I was only there for this guy for a moment, at least he had someone to say something to.
After the meeting, I invited a few people to join Kimberly and myself to give out some more free hugs. Only the tag-a-long joined us. It only took a few minutes for us to convince him to go home, as Mill Ave was pretty much empty at 9pm, which is strange as it the main location for the night life in Tempe. Since we had no one to hug, we decided to grab a bite to eat. Once our late night snack was finished, we gave Mill Avenue one more go. Kimberly and I managed to pass out a handful more hugs before heading home. We did not get too far before she wanted some yogurt. Sitting on the hood of her car, we recalled how fantastic the night had been. I have never had such a wonderful time in my life. I do not recall ever feeling so loved, or so loving. The hugs we gave were without condition, and so numerous that I feel silly for thinking only ten would be given. I am glad to have chosen to live in love. It is three days later and I can still feel the happiness and joy running through me.
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